Norlos

Balloon Logging

Why am I linking to a song that appeared in the movie Rubber?

No reason.

while i was folding my laundry tonight, one of my youtube playlists provided the soundtrack to that mundane task. this song made me terribly sentimental for mr. guapo and the honey badger because they were the brooklyn who took me in.

(my laundromat is next to franklin park, so the time i spent there during the dry-cycle might my nostalgic mood.)

Warning: Discussion not suitable for work.

The phrase “niubi” in Chinese means, as far as I can tell, alternately “cow vagina,” “badass” and “stuck up.” It’s fairly common to see people adopt variants of the word for their online name and to use the phrase and knockoffs on the Chinese Internet.

I’ve asked co-workers to explain, which makes for awkward office conversations. “It’s because it’s sooo big,” said one.

Eric Abrahamsen, in an old post, fills in many of my questions.

John Hodgman has created the best trailer for a book ever.

China is a nation of skinny people who don’t exercise. OK, that’s a vastly broad generalization. (Thanks, Kentucky Fried.) Still, people walk and bike here a lot more often than Americans, but the whole “I can get a run in” and going to the gym thing hasn’t really taken off.

Except for the morning calisthenics. Developed by Mao Zedong back when war with the West was inevitable and the entire population needed to be trained as a fighting force, the Chairman developed a morning regimen based on basic fitness and martial arts. It’s been tweaked over the years, but the tradition remains.

There’s a school right behind our temporary apartment. In the morning, as we prepare Marco’s bottle and banana-and-yogurt medley, we hear the “yi … er … san … si” — the one, two, three, four — of the morning workout.

By the way, we’re on the 25th floor, according to the door plate and the elevator buttons. But our building lacks a fourth floor, because the Chinese word for “four” sounds like the word for “death,” so it’s unlucky. Ditto 14th and 24th floors. Plus we’re missing the 13th floor, out of cultural sensitivity I guess. So it’s the 21st floor, right?

Edit: Here’s how to do it properly, comrade.

…but it turns out that Norlos.com is behind the Great Firewall. This is a 100% surprise to me. I tested the URL before we left on the Great Firewall Emulator and it seemed fine. Not entirely sure what the problem is, though it’s clear the authorities hate all blogs hosted outside the mainland. Maybe they can somehow detect WordPress-run blogs? In any case, it’s more proof that no one quite knows how the Great Firewall works.

What’s it like to be censored? It’s a little different from the days of that article. Just about every news site — New York Times, Wall Street Journal, BBC and CNN among them — is available, and an increasing number are out there in Chinese as well as English. The authorities come down on you selectively, usually reserving outright bans for something that really sets them off. If they’re annoyed, generally they complain before they do anything else.

Social media is a whole ‘nother matter. Banned sites include Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Vimeo, etc. Basically, any service that lets you get together with other people to share information or plan any kind of concerted action. The Chinese authorities don’t necessarily stop you from getting the news, but they want to prevent you from acting on it.

This presents problems in little ways. I roll out of bed at 6 am, generally with the little guy’s feet in my face (that’s a future post topic), and can check the world’s news with little problem. Some mornings, I barely notice. But if I want to share that news, then we have problems.

Generally this means I have filled my inferior smartphone (yet another future post) with snapshots of interesting things around town and video of little Kang Kang (still another future post) doing his usual cute toddler things, but few easy ways to share them with loved ones. I can attach a cable to my phone or do a Dropbox thing or whatever, but that’s more work than my lazy ass can stomach.

I can access all those sites at work, of course, but generally I’m too busy — and really, it’s sort of poor form — to spend work time on Facebook and Norlos.

So more on our lives in Beijing in the future, I promise. Meanwhile, hope y’all are well.

By the way, I’ve joined the Twitterverse in a professional sort of way, so I’ll be sharing links and witty quips out there at CRTejada.

Metro Vocal Group is four gweilos who sing a capella versions of Cantopop songs.